18 June 2005, Sat

Today’s D-day, the day I am going to stop breastfeeding her completely.

It’s 4.30am and as usual, Baby woke up for her late night feed. As planned, I made 90ml formula and Daddy gave her the bottle. But she drank only a little (30ml) and started to push the bottle away. And she kept staring at me and went “ug ug” like she was trying to tell me something. I felt so guilty. Daddy asked me to lie down so that she couldn’t see me. But she didn’t want to drink anymore. So we put her to bed, but she didn’t want to go to sleep. It took us a while to get her to settle down to sleep again.